19-year-old Rich Silby is so sick of his parents ignoring his
Christmas wish requests, that he is simply asking everyone for an
Amazon gift card this year after receiving nothing but sweatshirts
and movie coupons last year. Here are a few of his declined
Christmas gift requests:
Gift: Portable vaporizer.
Reason Wanted: Smoke weed secretly
everywhere he goes.
Reason Declined: Parents disapprove of
weed smoking, disapprove even more of secret public weed
Gift: An Introduction to Aleister
Crowley's Practise of Sexual Magic
Reason Wanted: Wanted to use Sexual Magic
to force girls into wanting him.
Reason Declined: "Creepy as shit, son,
Gift: 100% wool fedora, Jon Hamm-quality,
Reason Wanted: Hamm-like suave and
Reason Declined: "We don't want you going down
Gift: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Reason Wanted: Unable to practice sexual
magic, Silby is forced to sexualize this children's cartoon.
Reason Declined: "Worse than the fedora.
We're thinking it may be time you moved out son."
Gift: The Big Book of Beheadings.
Reason Wanted: Really into
Reason Declined: "Concerned about your interest
in beheadings son."