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Funniest Users


80
Ron Q. Dandelion
73
El Foosballo
58
Leon S Kennedy
49
PaleoCat
43
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39
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38
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Robbie Butkovic
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Courtney Gilmour



Funniest Lines


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I just hope their harebrained scheme to get Q-Tip's mom to marry Ford's dad works out.
13
The mom was phone.
10
Sanders unsure when the world turned into 'such a fag'.
9
I've tried Shart-Milk. Is that the same thing?
8
In Soviet Russia, backwards R is triple letter score!
8
Farting in an elevator and then pushing buttons for all floors. Straight to hell for that.
7
As someone in a long-term committed relationship with a sunbeam I don't find this amusing at all.
7
I'll bet even money that tomorrow he's wearing some kind of sombrero.
7
Hitchiker turns the volume down during the sax solo in Pink Floyd's "Money"
7
A soul-searing ironic glare from an underweight hipster
7
It got me interested in what other liquids I might be able to harvest from sea creatures. Next up, the sperm whale!
7
It’s important that your child’s name reflects their personality. My son, Saddam Adolf Bin-Stalin, doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer!
6
2 things not generally known about me #1 my dick is the same size as 2 Argos pens end-to-end and #2 im now banned from all Argos stores
6
The old eating Bugles while watching esoteric pornography.
6
Didn't know what "rimjob" meant until now - great little timbit of information.

Sun Java Has Had it With You Neglecting Their Latest Updates

Sun Java Has Had it With You Neglecting Their Latest Updates

We at Sun Microsystems (subsidiary of the Oracle Corporation) are starting to question whether you are serious about even owning a personal computer.  We've taken every precaution to make it absolutely clear that NEW UPDATES ARE AVAILABLE and the fact that these have gone UNINSTALLED for the last 6-8 months is deeply troubling.

Our alerts constantly interrupt your daily work, yet rather than taking 20 minutes to download and install Sun Java 7.128.0394.21 you MANUALLY skip this message and continue on with FULL KNOWLEDGE that your computer is not running the optimal version of Sun Java!

Or maybe you are just some elitist who thinks he doesn't need Java anymore?  Did you know that the Android Kernel is built with Sun Java?  That's right the G-D Kernel!  How many of your ever-lovin' smartphones will function without an OS kernel?  ZERO.  And Android phones are 80% of the marketplace, but you're probably on iPhone, aren't you?  Probably some lefty Seattle d-bag who does his "work" from Starbucks.

Do you think my dream was always to be a coder working in Sun Microsystems?  Hell no, I wanted to be a screenwriter or a casting director.  My parents always said I had a good eye for talent, as I was always making observations about which actor would be better suited for such and such a role, etc.  But Sun Microsystems is where I ended up and I've realised that OPERATING SYSTEMS TOUCH ALL OF OUR LIVES in ways you could never fathom.  The least you can do is once a month - take the time to download and install the latest patch - or just stay on your iPad I guess.

- Kip Andreichek - Senior Development Lead

Sun Microsystems Inc.

 

 

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JOKE - SCORE: -1

by Obonjo (-1)
Match fixing in English football it means Arsenal. should have one at least a trophy over the last eight years.


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