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I just hope their harebrained scheme to get Q-Tip's mom to marry Ford's dad works out.
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The mom was phone.
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Sanders unsure when the world turned into 'such a fag'.
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I've tried Shart-Milk. Is that the same thing?
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It got me interested in what other liquids I might be able to harvest from sea creatures. Next up, the sperm whale!
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In Soviet Russia, backwards R is triple letter score!
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Farting in an elevator and then pushing buttons for all floors. Straight to hell for that.
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As someone in a long-term committed relationship with a sunbeam I don't find this amusing at all.
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I'll bet even money that tomorrow he's wearing some kind of sombrero.
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Hitchiker turns the volume down during the sax solo in Pink Floyd's "Money"
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It’s important that your child’s name reflects their personality. My son, Saddam Adolf Bin-Stalin, doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer!
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2 things not generally known about me #1 my dick is the same size as 2 Argos pens end-to-end and #2 im now banned from all Argos stores
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The old eating Bugles while watching esoteric pornography.
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Didn't know what "rimjob" meant until now - great little timbit of information.

Shoe Lover Plots Murderous Coup Against Salt Truck Guy

Shoe Lover Plots Murderous Coup Against Salt Truck Guy

A downtown Toronto woman has planned a murderous coup against the guy who rides that little salt-mobile on the sidewalk and salts the ever-loving shit out of the sidewalk.

"Three pairs of Michael Kors boots, a pair of Stuart Weitzmans, and a very lovely pair of Frye knee-highs last year alone.  Eaten by salt," said Rebecca Hamilton, "Okay so it gets icey, and old people might fall. But do the geniuses running this city understand that sodium has consumed $1480 worth of my footwear last year alone?  Do they get that old people are really just a burden on the system, leeching off young stylish people like myself?  I'd rather see a hundred grandmas with broken hips a year than lose one pair of Jeffrey Campbells to salt"

Hamilton, estimating she has lost approximately $18,000 in footwear to salt over the years, has staked out the route of one of those salt-mobile guys, and plans to knock him off his stupid little perch with a baseball bat, and then cave his skull in with vicious blows to the head. 

 

 

 

 

Have you ever carried out a vendetta against a public servant?

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JOKE - SCORE: 3

by BookDirt (43)
Nope. I have nothing to do with the tentacle porn that arrives monthly at the DMV for Murray Potts. Nothing at all.. Nothing


JOKE - SCORE: 2

by El Foosballo (73)
I once tried to frame a Toronto transit worker for choking a baby - but he saved the baby instead! Next time, Mbari Hogun, next time.

TOPPER - SCORE: 2

by Leon S Kennedy (58)
Sounds like a job for the Choke-a-Baby, Save-a-Baby, Baby-Choking Team-Squad!


JOKE - SCORE: 2

by El Foosballo (73)
I once tried to frame a Toronto transit worker for choking a baby - but he saved the baby instead! Next time, Mbari Hogun, next time.


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