"How old is she anyway?" Marge Dingh asked about the 49-year-old
American sweetheart after seeing the blockbuster film Gravity.
"I know she's had a couple kids," said Dingh's friend Lucille
Jones, "But now you can start to see the lines in her face a bit
more. Wonder if she's had much work done?"
"Well, she's been around since the early 1990s, so she's no
spring chicken," said Dingh, rubbing at her eyes because 3D movies
always gave her a headache.
The hypocrisy of this was that the Dingh-Jones combo looked way
worse off than today's Sandra Bullock even during the absolute
bloom of their individual youths. Dingh, with no shortage of
moles, skin tags and other dermatological anomalies was a kissless
virgin until she was 38. Let's not talk about how her kissing
virginity was taken or with what magnitude of a disgusting creep it
Lucille Jones is, and always was, simply ugly as fucking
anything. Not to mention stupid and just generally unpleasant to be
in the orbit of.