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OutFunny!

where the funniest comment wins!

Funniest Users


80
Ron Q. Dandelion
73
El Foosballo
58
Leon S Kennedy
49
PaleoCat
43
BookDirt
38
Gene Parmesan
38
Mike Hunt
23
Robbie Butkovic
21
Phil Mckrackin
15
Courtney Gilmour



Funniest Lines


14
I just hope their harebrained scheme to get Q-Tip's mom to marry Ford's dad works out.
13
The mom was phone.
10
Sanders unsure when the world turned into 'such a fag'.
9
I've tried Shart-Milk. Is that the same thing?
8
In Soviet Russia, backwards R is triple letter score!
8
Farting in an elevator and then pushing buttons for all floors. Straight to hell for that.
7
As someone in a long-term committed relationship with a sunbeam I don't find this amusing at all.
7
I'll bet even money that tomorrow he's wearing some kind of sombrero.
7
Hitchiker turns the volume down during the sax solo in Pink Floyd's "Money"
7
A soul-searing ironic glare from an underweight hipster
7
It’s important that your child’s name reflects their personality. My son, Saddam Adolf Bin-Stalin, doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer!
6
2 things not generally known about me #1 my dick is the same size as 2 Argos pens end-to-end and #2 im now banned from all Argos stores
6
The old eating Bugles while watching esoteric pornography.
6
It got me interested in what other liquids I might be able to harvest from sea creatures. Next up, the sperm whale!
6
Didn't know what "rimjob" meant until now - great little timbit of information.

New Theories on Who Killed Kennedy

New Theories on Who Killed Kennedy
  1. M.C. Hammer - though he was just an infant baby, his parents made some Faustian pact with LBJ that if they set him up on the grassy nole and helped him pull the trigger with his little baby index finger, that he would be granted immeasurable success in the entertainment world.  It was latent guilt over this that caused Hammer to piss away his fortune.
  2. Richard Simmons - same Faustian pact with LBJ, but in his case the reward was that of being fabulous.
  3. Lee Harvey Oswald - but not for any of the previously considered reasons.  Oswald was actually a time traveler who had seen the future, and didn't want a future to exist in which Stephen King would not write an absolutely unreadable 1000 page novel about him.
  4. Dean Martin - Because Dean-O did what Dean-O felt like doing every goddamn day of his life.
  5. Contrarian Dave Winwood - who has aged remarkably well incidentally, because at that time his entire social group was made up of Greenwich Village liberals, so to be his usual contrarian dickhead self he had to oppose the civil rights movement and Kennedy's impact on it.  Winwood man, that shitter is spread out all over recent American history in these kinds of ways. 
  6. Playwright Arthur Miller spent much of his later life trying to subtly hint to his colleagues that he had killed Kennedy because JFK "banged" his ex-wife. It is thought that Miller, who felt ignored by his peers and neglected by his worthless sons Biff and Happy concocted this story so that people would think something of him when he passed on. In the forward of his unfinished play "Crucible 2 : Return to Witch Mountain" he full-on claimed responsiblity for firing the headshot from the grassy noll and even dedicated the book to JFK junior "whom I also killed".

Have you heard any other theories about JFK?

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JOKE - SCORE: 2

by Patrick J Salem (7)
In his relentless pursuit of Davros, Dr. Who inadvertantly drove Oswald over the edge when the Tardis appeared and in Dallas that morning.


JOKE - SCORE: 0

by Mike Hunt (38)
16 y.o. Austrian tourist Arnold Schwarzenegger kills JFK, in order cement his future marriage to Kennedy family member, Maria Shriver.

TOPPER - SCORE: 0

by Leon S Kennedy (58)
He was aiming for Sarah Connor


JOKE - SCORE: 0

by PaleoCat (49)
How old was Chuck Norris on November 22, 1963?


JOKE - SCORE: 0

by Mike Hunt (38)
16 y.o. Austrian tourist Arnold Schwarzenegger kills JFK, in order cement his future marriage to Kennedy family member, Maria Shriver.


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