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OutFunny!

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I just hope their harebrained scheme to get Q-Tip's mom to marry Ford's dad works out.
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The mom was phone.
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Sanders unsure when the world turned into 'such a fag'.
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I've tried Shart-Milk. Is that the same thing?
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In Soviet Russia, backwards R is triple letter score!
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Farting in an elevator and then pushing buttons for all floors. Straight to hell for that.
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As someone in a long-term committed relationship with a sunbeam I don't find this amusing at all.
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I'll bet even money that tomorrow he's wearing some kind of sombrero.
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Hitchiker turns the volume down during the sax solo in Pink Floyd's "Money"
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It’s important that your child’s name reflects their personality. My son, Saddam Adolf Bin-Stalin, doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer!
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2 things not generally known about me #1 my dick is the same size as 2 Argos pens end-to-end and #2 im now banned from all Argos stores
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The old eating Bugles while watching esoteric pornography.
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It got me interested in what other liquids I might be able to harvest from sea creatures. Next up, the sperm whale!
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Didn't know what "rimjob" meant until now - great little timbit of information.

Contrarian Dave Criticizes McDonalds While Eating McDonalds

Contrarian Dave Criticizes McDonalds While Eating McDonalds

Contrarian Dave Winwood amazed friends over the weekend by vehemently criticizing the nutritional value of McDonalds while he was himself eating McDonalds and appearing to enjoy it.

"Look at these sheep, lined up in this dirty hellhole for what's nothing more than a bunch of salt on Styrofoam.  You ever see the burgers before the meat spray is added?" Winwood asked an elderly woman at a nearby table, "Exactly like Styrofoam man," said Winwood, taking a large bite of his Big Mac and appearing to really savour it.

"Don't get me started on nuggets.  If you knew what was in those nuggets you would throw up all over the place.  Is it cool if I snag a nugget by the way?" 

Winwood reserved his highest degree of scorn for those ordering the premium meal deals.  "That Angus combo comes to almost $11.  You could go to a nice diner and get a home-cooked meal for that," Winwood shouted at someone trying to enjoy their Angus combo before he was asked to leave by managers. Winwood agreed to leave but insisted on getting three junior chickens for the road.  He then shouted at the Angus person that he was enjoying three junior chickens for less than the price of one Angus burger, which strangely generated a small smattering of applause from other value menu devotees.

How do you feel after a Mickey-D's binge?

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JOKE - SCORE: 2

by PaleoCat (49)
Hey Dave, have a quarter pounder with cheese, and shut the fuck up


JOKE - SCORE: 1

by El Foosballo (73)
I want to know what Dave Winwood did with the rest of the squirrel after gluing its tail to his chin!


JOKE - SCORE: 2

by Melissa Fox (13)
i come for the prices, i stay for the explosive diarrhea.


JOKE - SCORE: 1

by El Foosballo (73)
I want to know what Dave Winwood did with the rest of the squirrel after gluing its tail to his chin!

TOPPER - SCORE: 0

by Leon S Kennedy (58)
Kind of a sub-lingual landing strip


JOKE - SCORE: 2

by BookDirt (43)
Feel me and find out, sailor.


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