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Cat Scientists Continue Hunt For Red Dot Particle

Cat Scientists Continue Hunt For Red Dot Particle

Cat scientists yesterday announced the construction of a billion-dollar accelerator to assist efforts in locating the elusive Red Dot Particle, before licking themselves vigorously for several minutes.

"We're still not sure what the Red Dot Particle actually is", explained Purrfressor Whiskers, project lead and 'adored snuffikins' of a Mr Jenkins. "The motion of the Red Dot seems to be random, unexplained by any of Newton's classical laws. We believe the Red Dot is a macro quantum phenomenon, as it only occurs when both a cat and a human are there to observe it. Unfortunately humans seem incapable of appreciating the colossal significance of this discovery, often devolving into helpless laughter instead of helping us catch it as their simple minds overload in the face of the mysteries of existence. But we will solve this mystery for them."

"We will catch that red dot."

Competing feline theories suggest that the Red Dot particle will complete the Standard Model, is an exceptionally small and high-energy mouse, or has gone behind the fridge I know it's back there scratch scratch scratch come on SCRATCH SCRATCHSCRATCH.

After locating the particle, cat scientists will perform a rigorous program of tests, batting it from side to side, followed by a moment of letting it think it has escaped before capturing it again. They hope this will revolutionize their understanding of life by not dying as fast as every other small moving things they do this to.

This work will builds on the previous successes of superstring theory, which proved that string existed because it was super fun to play with.

 

 

There it is! It's moving up the wall, catch it!

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JOKE - SCORE: 3

by El Foosballo (73)
They need to PAWs and ensure this machine is PURRfected before going FURther or they MOEWt cause a CATastrophe!


JOKE - SCORE: 0

by Ron Q. Dandelion (80)
In other news dog scientists probe the question, "Why is eating any masticable substance pleasurable?


JOKE - SCORE: 0

by PaleoCat (49)
Mittens discovered too late that the origin of the dot was the insidious Dr. Mouse with a sniper rifle


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