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Blue Velvet Deleted Scenes: Review by Jonathan the Cat

Blue Velvet Deleted Scenes: Review by Jonathan the Cat

The 90-minutes of deleted scenes from David Lynch's Blue Velvet are the PURR-fect way to spend an evening curled up on the couch. David Lynch's masterpiece has long been considered the zenith of the cat and mouse genre, and now Lynch fans should rejoice that we have 90 more minutes of it. Apologies for that. I am contractually obligated to make two cat puns per review. Humans are entirely crass beings.

The bulk of the deleted scenes are exposition involving Jeffrey (Kyle MacLachlan): A party at college where he learns of his father's death, more interactions with his mother and aunt, and several scenes with Sandy's (Laura Dern) boyfriend Mike. The most significant cut scene is one where Jeffrey secretly watches a near-rape while at college, only intervening at the last moment, establishing that voyeurism is not something only thrust upon Jeffrey by the beauty of Dorothy Vallens (Isabella Rossellini).

What the number of early Jeffrey scenes indicate is that originally this was Jeffrey's story alone, but the sheer force of Dennis Hopper eventually made it the story of Frank Booth. The dog disagrees. The dog is pretty fucking stupid however. The humans were eating an incredibly large amount of ground beef so I'm not sure they took any of it in. As Lynch has said, "Dennis Hopper is Frank Booth. That's a good thing and a bad thing. The bad thing is that he is Frank Booth."

The first scene in the package, and probably the most overtly in line with the Lynch oeuvre, is a real scratching post, pure fucking catnip, with a solid minute of an old bluesman making animal noises at a strip club before Booth charges in, orders a case of PBR and wreaks havoc.

Most interesting--at least for me as a cat who can willfully travel in and out of alternate dimensions--are images and stylistic touches Lynch would later use. At the college party Jeffrey leaves, the revelers dance with the exact same rhythm, with a mild drone on the soundtrack implying something sinister, reminiscent of the dance scenes in Inland Empire. There's also a stage show at the The Slow Room featuring a hack comedian and a wildly gesticulating drummer that is as funny and strange as anything in Twin Peaks. It's interesting how these elements have manifested in millions of different ways in millions of different dimensions, as though they are not just essential to Lynch, but essential to everyone who would admire Lynch in every different worldline. In some of the worldlines he is named David Lunch incidentally.

Well, time to lick myself for 35 minutes and crawl into a laptop bag. Till next time,

Jonathan the Cat

 

 

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JOKE - SCORE: 1

by Mike Hunt (39)
This is a much better review than the one written by Rex the Dog, which just reads "Where's my ball? Where's my ball?" for a page and a half


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